Chapter 2: The Last Temptation of Winnie-the-Pooh

The sun came back over the forest, bringing with it the scents and sounds of gathering flocks, and in the quiet of the Wood a lamb tried out his voice and listened to see if his mother would answer.

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The Last Temptation of Winnie-the-Pooh.

Chapter Two

That day, being yesterday, the sun came back over the forest, bringing with it the scents and sounds of gathering flocks, and in the warmth and quiet of the Wood a lamb tried out his voice and listened to see if his mother would answer; turtledoves complained gently to themselves in their lazy, comfortable way that it was the other fellow's fault, but it didn't matter very much. On such a day as this, Pooh went down to Eeyore’s house by the river, because that was the best place to be, if one was looking for Eeyore.

E. H. Shepard

'Christopher Robin is giving a party,' said Pooh.

'Very interesting,' said Eeyore. 'I suppose they’ll be sending me down the odd bits which got trodden on.’ 

‘I suppose so,’ said Pooh, ‘if you’d like.’

‘Kind and Thoughtful. Not at all, don't mention it.'

‘Owl just told me. We’re to go right away.’

‘We?’ asked Eeyore. ‘He couldn’t have possibly meant me. Odd bits are fine. Joining is for those who join, and I’m happy enough here in the mud with my house of sticks. Some of us never have to wonder if we’ll be included because some of us never are.’

‘But you are included,’ said Pooh. ‘Owl said he’s influential enough to get us into the party and kind enough to do so.’

'It’s Christopher Robin’s party,' said Eeyore. ‘I’d hate to disappoint him by showing up.’

‘Don’t you want to go?’ asked Pooh. ‘Owl says we’re invited, and that must be true because Owl is Christopher Robin’s right-hand friend, and I know Owl’s his right-hand friend because this is a truth of which Owl told me of.”

Christopher Robin had sent Owl, you see, and Owl sent Pooh.

Pooh, Owl said, Christopher Robin is giving a party.

Oh! said Pooh. And then seeing that Owl expected him to say something else, he went on to say, Will there be honey?

Owl drew himself up big. It’s rather beneath one such as I to talk about honey, especially when there’s news of a party to tell Christopher Robin’s friends the news.

What news? asked Pooh.

Why, THE news, said Owl.

And what news is THE news? asked Pooh.

The most important news, said Owl.

I imagined as much, said Pooh.

Not to worry, not to worry. I’ll put in a good word for you.

You will? asked Pooh.

There’ll be a place for you, said Owl, when Christopher Robin is king of the Hundred Acre Wood.

A place for Me? said Pooh. How grand! 

Not too grand, said Owl. Strive to be humble. Like me. I’m Christopher Robin’s right-hand friend and the humblest of them all. 

That’s a rather impressive feat.

Yes, said Owl, looking down at his talons. They are.

Owl sent Pooh to tell Eeyore while he flew off to tell the others. As Owl flew, Pooh wondered if all the other animals would know the best place was reserved for Owl. Certainly, Christopher Robin had told them about Owl’s wonderful wit and wisdom. And his wings. Owl was above the others, sometimes high above, and Pooh began to think how awful it would be if everybody had forgotten Owl’s highness, and what if nobody quite knew what the party was for? Certainly the party was to honor Owl; and the more Pooh thought like this, the more the party got muddled in his mind, like a dream when nothing goes right. 

And while this was going on inside him, he found Eeyore.

'You must go!' said Pooh, in an Owl-sounding voice.

Eeyore shook his head slowly. 'You’d be better off with Piglet, the little fellow with the excited ears. I'll tell him.'

'No, no!' said Pooh, feeling more muddled than ever. 'It's you!'

'Going is a mistake, no doubt, but still, I’ll go,’ said Eeyore. ‘Only don't blame me if it rains.'

#

Piglet had, in his upstairs room, a long table made of pieces of wood, and Christopher Robin’s friends all sat round it with Christopher Robin at the center. Pooh sat on his right, and Owl sat on his left. Then there was Tigger, Eeyore, and Rabbit, along with Roo and Kanga. 

Piglet brought, in his very small hands, very big plates of thistles, haycorns, and honey.

‘You shouldn’t have,’ said Pooh between handfuls, but as he ate, he saw the Piglet looked very tired and very dirty. ‘Piglet, you’re in need of a bath.’

‘But the food,’ Piglet said. ‘Eeyore might run out of thistles.’

‘I’ll see to the thistles,’ said Pooh. ‘You see to the bath.’

Piglet hurried downstairs, and when the thistles ran low, Pooh pushed himself up from the table and went to find more. ‘And maybe a little more honey besides,’ Pooh added to himself, just in case himself was listening, which he was.

Pooh found Piglet lying on a couch, wrapped in a towel. Piglet opened one eye and closed the other. ‘I had my b-bath, Pooh, but now I’m twice as tired and half as strong. I thought m-maybe a monent’s rest would set me right. It really is only for a moment. I won’t keep Christopher Robin w-waiting.’ And then he fell asleep.

Pooh tucked Piglet in and tiptoed back upstairs with the thistles and two more jars of honey. ‘In case my seconds want seconds,’ he said to himself in a very soft whisper.

Upstairs again, Winnie-the-Pooh saw Roo jumping in his chair. It was the first party to which Roo had ever been.

Kanga held Roo’s hand and said, ‘There, there dear.’

Christopher Robin had cast seven woozles out of Kanga, and the seventh was Roo, who was small and kind and didn’t know he was a woozle at all.

Now, as soon as Pooh sat down, Roo began to talk.

'Hallo, Tigger!' he squeaked.

'Hallo, Roo, old buddy!' said Tigger.

Roo jumped up and down for a little while and then began again.

'Hallo, Eeyore!'

Eeyore nodded gloomily at him. 'It will rain soon, you see if it doesn't.'

Roo looked to see if it didn't, and it didn't, so he said 'Hallo, Owl!'—and Owl said 'Hallo, my little fellow,' in a kindly way, and went on telling Christopher Robin about an incident involving a friend of his whom Christopher Robin didn't know. ‘The soldiers very nearly arrested him for something he very nearly didn’t do.’

When they had all nearly eaten enough, Christopher Robin banged on the table with his spoon, and everyone stopped talking and were very silent, except Roo who was just finishing a loud attack of hiccups and trying to look as if the noise came from someone sneaking around behind him.

'This party,' said Christopher Robin, 'is a party because of what I must do and where I must go, and you all know what and where that is, so that where I go, you can go, also.’

Eeyore coughed in a gloomy sort of way. ‘Where you go, we do not know, and we don’t know the way. Not that it matters. Don’t mind me.’

The others began to chatter this and chatter that, but Owl shushed them with a clearing of his throat and a sudden HOOT!

'Friends,' Owl said, 'it is a great pleasure to see you at my party—at our party, Christopher Robin’s and mine. What I did was nothing, gathering you all here on such short notice. Any of you—except Rabbit and Tigger and Kanga—would have done the same. Oh, and Pooh. My actions came not with an idea of being the subject of Christopher Robin’s big news.' He put his wing to his mouth and said in a loud whisper, 'But you can see where I’m sitting. Now, I feel that we should all——'

'H—hup!' said Roo accidentally.

'Roo, dear!' said Kanga reproachfully.

'Was it me?' asked Roo, shamefully.

‘Was what you?’ asked Tigger suspiciously. ‘Was there a dastardly deed dastardly done?’

Kanga put a hand between Roo and Tigger. ‘Roo’s far too young to do anything dastardly, dear.’

Tigger looked horror-stricken. ‘Then—’ he gulped, ‘—was it me?’

'What's Tigger saying?' asked Pooh.

‘In truth,’ said Christopher Robin, ‘someone at this very table will do me a dastardly deed.’

'Is it me?' asked Pooh rather dolefully. ‘Oh, dear. You must be terribly disappointed.’

‘Not at all,’ Christopher Robin said. ‘You are a very dear friend, and I love you with all my heart.’

Tigger let loose a growl that showed all his teeth, even the very back ones. ‘I’ll never do you dastardly, Christopher Robin.’

Christopher Robin smiled, but his eyes were sad. ‘You’ll deny you’re my friend three times before the rooster crows.’

‘Let me at that rooster.’ Tigger sank into his chair. ‘I’ll ring his neck, wattle and all.’

‘Wattle?’ asked Rabbit.

‘Tigger will,’ said Pooh.

Through all of this, Owl was hooting. This time short and high-sounding, like an all-together different sort of bird. ‘You love HIM with ALL your h-heart?’

Christopher Robin turned to face Owl. ‘What you do, do quickly.’

Owl stumbled out of his seat, with all his feathers ruffled. He stared, his beak agape–forming, in appearance, the prefiguration of man’s doom. Then he flew out the window.

‘That was quickly,’ said Pooh. ‘Well done, Owl.’

‘I could bounce quicklier than that,’ said Tigger. ‘Watch me.’

But Christopher Robin stood up, and everyone was silent.

'H—hup!' said Roo again.

‘We have a very big problem,’ said Christopher Robin, and the friends grew still, like markers in a churchyard. ‘None of you are clean.’

Chapter 3: The Last Temptation of Winnie-the-Pooh