I’m humbled and honored to be up, cut open and displayed as I am here.
I can see where my intent and motivation pushed me towards to, but, at the same time I can see where my ignorance and lack of understanding of certain elements undermined what I tried to accomplish. I will take your advice and go back to the workshop.
Again, I appreciate you for doing this. Gave me a birthday present two weeks earlier.
This is a thoughtful deconstruction of a work in progress. Kudos to Pablo Baez for exposing himself in this way and to Thaddeus for his care in dissecting the work. I enjoyed the story for the first half. The tone, structure, and style match the club's frenetic atmosphere and bring the whole to life without describing laborious details. I also got lost in the second half as the pace sped up and more characters were introduced. Still, I also marvelled at the vision to twist and bend the form - the whole ended up feeling like I was watching three choreographed dances happening simultaneously... which I think was the intent. I hope Pablo can take your notes on board and grace us with another version. I will read it for sure.
Head-hopping is treacherous ground. Having just finished "Absalom, Absalom!" I can appreciate Pablo’s boldness in attempting it so early in his career. Despite the shortcomings you've pointed out, Covadonga brims with potential—and I know you see that too. Clarity and experimentation often pull in opposite directions, and even Faulkner, in his magnum opus, chose to sacrifice the former for the latter. In fact, he didn't just allow confusion—he made it a central pillar of Absalom.
Still, I believe a writer as gifted as Pablo can move toward a synthesis of clarity and experimentation. Your critique offers more than analysis—it’s fertile ground for any writer attempting such a delicate balance.
I’m humbled and honored to be up, cut open and displayed as I am here.
I can see where my intent and motivation pushed me towards to, but, at the same time I can see where my ignorance and lack of understanding of certain elements undermined what I tried to accomplish. I will take your advice and go back to the workshop.
Again, I appreciate you for doing this. Gave me a birthday present two weeks earlier.
Harpy birthday! Getting feedback is always hard, but your story is something special.
This is a thoughtful deconstruction of a work in progress. Kudos to Pablo Baez for exposing himself in this way and to Thaddeus for his care in dissecting the work. I enjoyed the story for the first half. The tone, structure, and style match the club's frenetic atmosphere and bring the whole to life without describing laborious details. I also got lost in the second half as the pace sped up and more characters were introduced. Still, I also marvelled at the vision to twist and bend the form - the whole ended up feeling like I was watching three choreographed dances happening simultaneously... which I think was the intent. I hope Pablo can take your notes on board and grace us with another version. I will read it for sure.
Head-hopping is treacherous ground. Having just finished "Absalom, Absalom!" I can appreciate Pablo’s boldness in attempting it so early in his career. Despite the shortcomings you've pointed out, Covadonga brims with potential—and I know you see that too. Clarity and experimentation often pull in opposite directions, and even Faulkner, in his magnum opus, chose to sacrifice the former for the latter. In fact, he didn't just allow confusion—he made it a central pillar of Absalom.
Still, I believe a writer as gifted as Pablo can move toward a synthesis of clarity and experimentation. Your critique offers more than analysis—it’s fertile ground for any writer attempting such a delicate balance.