Thaddeus, your narrative just FLOWS! I also notice, and appreciate your use of dialogue. I have trouble balancing between telling and showing, but you don't seem to. A line of dialogue such as, "The mind can only handle a blocker for so long. Already, you can experience side effects, a rush of fractured memories and dreams. Don’t worry. It’s all completely normal.” keep the reader tuned into the character despite all that's going on. Really good!!
Thaddeus, your narrative just FLOWS! I also notice, and appreciate your use of dialogue. I have trouble balancing between telling and showing, but you don't seem to. A line of dialogue such as, "The mind can only handle a blocker for so long. Already, you can experience side effects, a rush of fractured memories and dreams. Don’t worry. It’s all completely normal.” keep the reader tuned into the character despite all that's going on. Really good!!