I have a solid feeling that I shall read this article, reread it, and then read it again more than ten times at least, over the next few months. I thank you for drawing on your expertise and past experiences in bringing this knowledge to a group that can truly benefit from what you wrote.
For those of you in the community who may hesitate at reading a psychological article aimed at helping writers, fear not. This is good information that we can all relate to, maybe not all of it at once, but over time, absolutely.
Plus, I can also state that this can pertain to flashing out a complicated, very layered character. Sure, delving into inner personal emotional states can take a writer down the path of too much detail… but mapping it out for yourself can help you make their decisions more realistically. So this article has another layer altogether that is of great help!
I don't know who's familiar with my "issue," but it's behind the Paywall now, and that's where it's going to stay. It's not something I tend to want to bring up as often as others might. Let's just say it involved a death and that it was my best friend, and that it happened at work. My whole thing about seeing psyches, or shrinks, or whatever you want to call them, is that I will say to you what I said to them: "The mind is it's own place, and of itself can make a hell of heaven or a heaven of hell." It's Milton, and it's paraphrased, but it doesn't matter. That has been my mantra since I first stumbled across it in English Lit class back in Grade 12, which was back in 1976. I live by that rule. That, and humour. I've gone through therapy. And having gone through what I did, I don't know whether I can say yes or no as to how much it helped me.
A guy like me -- old and set in his ways -- has way more triggers than you would ever imagine. Thing about triggers is that you never know what they are, or where you're going to come across them. I can hear something on the radio, or be watching TV, and get triggered. Another thing about it? I don't mind. I enjoy the emotional release, or collapse, or whatever you want to call it. I like that my wife calls me a pussy because I cry at something like a Princess Di story. Who the hell cries at that?
I'm still a little fucked up and we both know it (the wife and I), but we don't make a big deal about it either. I know I'm supposed to do all of that meditation shit, deep breathing, but I just can't be bothered. All that pent up anxiety is going to kill you, they say. So? Unlike most people, I look forward to dying. By that, I mean I'm not afraid of it. Not in the least bit. I believe in Life after Life. I sat at my mother's death bed and watched her as she spoke out to her mother, calling her and telling here that she wanted to go with her.
I'm not a deep thinker, in spite of the length of this comment. I've lost a lot of good friends over the years, and been touched in some way by every one of them. This last one takes the cake of course. (Seriously, if you want to know about, you'll have to go behind the paywall.) That one will never leave me. There isn't a day goes by where I don't think about him, and even sometimes have a cry. But I love crying at the memory of him because it means I'm alive, that it mattered, that he mattered, and that I'm still a human being.
Don’t forget to like me too. So far I’ve had two likes on my latest post. I just posted in comments to someone else’s Notes that I’m taking opposite action which is to do the thing I’m least inclined to do. Today that was not ask or beg, but I don’t feel that I’m begging you, friend. I truly value what you have to give and don’t have any doubts about its value.
I also loved this and will return to again. I knew there was something besides writing we had in common, Thaddeus. That being background in psychology and also social work, if that’s what you choose to call it. It’s worthy work you put in all those years, and it can work for us as well as others.
Thank you for this. I’m struggling with a major health issue and the side effects of my medication at present. It’s exhausting and scary. This short article of yours has been helpful.
Definitely needs to be read multiple times. Especially, for those similar to my background. A long time ago I was given advice by a psychologist who told me that the most important part of relating to people is to “validate their feelings regardless of the reasons why they have them”. I have attempted to follow that advice in all aspects of my life. You helped me think of those sessions and reminded me how important understanding, listening and validating can be in relationships both humanely and spiritually.
I have a solid feeling that I shall read this article, reread it, and then read it again more than ten times at least, over the next few months. I thank you for drawing on your expertise and past experiences in bringing this knowledge to a group that can truly benefit from what you wrote.
For those of you in the community who may hesitate at reading a psychological article aimed at helping writers, fear not. This is good information that we can all relate to, maybe not all of it at once, but over time, absolutely.
Plus, I can also state that this can pertain to flashing out a complicated, very layered character. Sure, delving into inner personal emotional states can take a writer down the path of too much detail… but mapping it out for yourself can help you make their decisions more realistically. So this article has another layer altogether that is of great help!
Thank you!!! 😊
Thank you so much for your response. It brightened my day.
Compliments always given when very deserved. 👍😉 Especially when the article is a timeless piece in its message.
I don't know who's familiar with my "issue," but it's behind the Paywall now, and that's where it's going to stay. It's not something I tend to want to bring up as often as others might. Let's just say it involved a death and that it was my best friend, and that it happened at work. My whole thing about seeing psyches, or shrinks, or whatever you want to call them, is that I will say to you what I said to them: "The mind is it's own place, and of itself can make a hell of heaven or a heaven of hell." It's Milton, and it's paraphrased, but it doesn't matter. That has been my mantra since I first stumbled across it in English Lit class back in Grade 12, which was back in 1976. I live by that rule. That, and humour. I've gone through therapy. And having gone through what I did, I don't know whether I can say yes or no as to how much it helped me.
A guy like me -- old and set in his ways -- has way more triggers than you would ever imagine. Thing about triggers is that you never know what they are, or where you're going to come across them. I can hear something on the radio, or be watching TV, and get triggered. Another thing about it? I don't mind. I enjoy the emotional release, or collapse, or whatever you want to call it. I like that my wife calls me a pussy because I cry at something like a Princess Di story. Who the hell cries at that?
I'm still a little fucked up and we both know it (the wife and I), but we don't make a big deal about it either. I know I'm supposed to do all of that meditation shit, deep breathing, but I just can't be bothered. All that pent up anxiety is going to kill you, they say. So? Unlike most people, I look forward to dying. By that, I mean I'm not afraid of it. Not in the least bit. I believe in Life after Life. I sat at my mother's death bed and watched her as she spoke out to her mother, calling her and telling here that she wanted to go with her.
I'm not a deep thinker, in spite of the length of this comment. I've lost a lot of good friends over the years, and been touched in some way by every one of them. This last one takes the cake of course. (Seriously, if you want to know about, you'll have to go behind the paywall.) That one will never leave me. There isn't a day goes by where I don't think about him, and even sometimes have a cry. But I love crying at the memory of him because it means I'm alive, that it mattered, that he mattered, and that I'm still a human being.
Probably a bit of spirituality in there too.
Thank you for all your kind words and support.
Don’t forget to like me too. So far I’ve had two likes on my latest post. I just posted in comments to someone else’s Notes that I’m taking opposite action which is to do the thing I’m least inclined to do. Today that was not ask or beg, but I don’t feel that I’m begging you, friend. I truly value what you have to give and don’t have any doubts about its value.
I also loved this and will return to again. I knew there was something besides writing we had in common, Thaddeus. That being background in psychology and also social work, if that’s what you choose to call it. It’s worthy work you put in all those years, and it can work for us as well as others.
Thank you for this. I’m struggling with a major health issue and the side effects of my medication at present. It’s exhausting and scary. This short article of yours has been helpful.
That's very encouraging
Definitely needs to be read multiple times. Especially, for those similar to my background. A long time ago I was given advice by a psychologist who told me that the most important part of relating to people is to “validate their feelings regardless of the reasons why they have them”. I have attempted to follow that advice in all aspects of my life. You helped me think of those sessions and reminded me how important understanding, listening and validating can be in relationships both humanely and spiritually.